1. Fairy Tales i am an atheist she tells me of her conversion story with a guru who leads her inside a room sat crossed legged recited mantras he places her hand on his genitals he recites his mantras again arms flare beads of sweat pour down his face onto his long robe he places her hand on his genitals again this time he no longer carries male genitals but female genitals instead he wants her to believe in spirit. Fairy tales. A Vietnamese woman retells her refugee story on a boat escaping to Hong Kong she cannot swim the storm brews heavily. certain she will die She prays to Guan Yin Goddess of Compassion with a thousand arms hears all cries. dawn breaks finding herself alive ocean water calm. Her boatmate, an atheist, sighted Guan Yin lift their boat with her hands while others slept. Fairy tales. whether you are ready for the messages or not Spirit has patience to repeat the lesson for you over and over and over again six hundred lifetimes until you are ready for magic. 2. Breath you suddenly diagnose yourself as a foreigner residing in human form with surges of invisible force waves of chaotic thoughts intruding through pores of every cellular membrane deactivating their nucleus and devouring its only powerhouse, the mitochondria. you wrestle to whisper i don't want to die. and struggle to recall that one word to anchor you back to reality. breathe. 3. Attempts to Reach the Astral i dream of travelling faster than the speed of light to enter a parallel universe where hypernovas shine thirty times brighter than supernovas yet their blackness generated from their collapse that must also be thirty times darker cannot reach me in the golden bubble i sit. a place where i can watch SN 1998bw collapse into a black hole forming a massive disk. a mere spectacle from afar... what began as an enormous helium star spinning before deciding its own gravity too heavy to sustain and collapsing into itself. the memories that sting the memories that create collapses the memories that create black holes are merely collapsing stars turning into blackness. black holes carry us to other universes there is courage which lives inside as my head spirals i dream of vacation spots on nearby visible galaxy faint oval patch of light at an angle of 15 degrees like puncturing skin with filiform needles into sensitive acupoints inducing qi movement to heal nightmares. Andromeda galaxy, with luminous elliptical-shaped nucleus energy emission double that of our Milky Way. Possibilities. It is possible, it need not be 2.36 million light years away if we listen as Guan Yin listens to the thousand cries with compassion. 4. Cycles of Oracles this is a test how does one trust darkness how much do you trust yourself? when one was promised light? How do you reach the top of the mountain when you're drowning in an ocean the mountain no longer visible somehow you learn to fall in love with ocean water Stockholm Syndrome can be cured you swallow the fish drink from fallen coconuts play catch with arrogant iguanas sleep on pearl white sand forget the mountaintop yet images of burning bodies remain lodged in memory banks even if it's been over a thousand years gurgling sounds of the drowning mother echo at night souls do not forget pain memories from previous lives cries of decapitated heads sit inside your breastbone screaming for reparation how many more kau taus before all karma can be absolved? in case you become distracted enough you will be provided with reminders of ancient wounds do you still feel abandoned by the spirit you trust? i stopped believing in miracles how some cycles turn into oracles you suddenly remember hearing a song from a play you once saw now you'’ve gone too deep forget your way home. but you remember the song. it echoes at night in loops in dreams. love never left you, you left love.